I miss mine.
October did a number of me, really. It kicked my ass like I never thought possible. Before it, I was pumped and full of energy, ready to tackle all the promotion, writing and edits I could think of. I was going to self-publish two books, launch the final book of the Locked Within Trilogy, and be so very awesome.
Now I'm struggling to write even 600 words a day, and I've missed my target for finishing Lady Raven by such an extent that I've resigned myself to only releasing the first book in the series next year. Maybe it's because I'm trying a new genre, or the challenges in writing a teenage girl as my protagonist. Maybe it's fear about self-publishing, and having so much on my head should the book flop. Maybe it's worry about the financial requirements. Whatever it is, I'm finding all I want is to get it over with so I can move on to some nice, familiar urban fantasy.
I'm going to keep going, because I promised myself I would write and release this book. I just hope that I can reclaim my enthusiasm and drive.
It's not a matter of relaxing. I've done plenty of relaxing. It's that there's a certain fulfillment I only get from being productive with my writing. If I don't get that, I feel the absence. I know there's something wrong and the only way to fix it is to get work done on a book.
I'd like to say things will get better once work settles down, but despite coming towards the end of a particularly busy period in my day-job, after that comes Christmas, and after that comes Baby No. 3. The fact is, there is no time when things settle down for you to get your bearings. You have to muddle through as best you can, making do with the time you have.
I just hope I can get that spark back.