Jul 16, 2011

Conor William Henry Shortt

I'm aware that not everyone heard the news when I posted it on Twitter and Facebook last Thursday, and I'd like to have a more permanent mention of it here on my blog, too.

My son, Conor William Henry Shortt, passed away on Thursday, July 14th, while his mother and I held him. He fought to stay with us, living a total of 3 days, 8 hours and 38 minutes. He was born without functioning kidneys and, as a result of the low amniotic fluid levels that causes, underdeveloped lungs. He was never going to be able to survive without life support, and even that would only keep him alive for so long. We spent the entire day on Thursday holding him, before making the decision to remove the ventilator at 5pm. He kept on fighting, trying to breathe, for a whole hour, before passing peacefully.

I've never seen a newborn like him. He would squeeze our fingers, even try to get a better grip. He wouldn't let us go, and his grip was so strong. Conor knew us. He would only open his eyes when we held him. His body would fight to breathe better when we were there. He has been with us since he was conceived, and will continue to be with us, always.

In the last nine months, Conor has done so much. He has shown my wife and I how strong we are, together. That we can overcome anything through our love. He has brought our families closer together and reminded us how dear to us our friends are, and how much they will do for us at a moment's notice. Conor has been loved by people from all over the world. Even in death, he will continue to be with us and do great things. We agreed to a post mortem. Hopefully this can add to the understanding of what happened to Conor once the doctors confirm what exactly it was that caused this.

We know so much about him. He would give Jen the mightiest of kicks, elbows, even scratches with his fingers, to let her know how he was feeling. We know he liked Bon Jovi and Def Leppard. He enjoyed Thor and Transformers. He loved spicy food.

I could not be more proud of our brave little boy, or more thankful that he chose my wife and I to be his parents. We will always remember that he came to us and made our lives better. He lived and was loved. We will keep him with us, always, and make sure his future siblings know that they have a strong big brother looking out for them.

Conor William Henry Shortt : 11/07/11 - 14/07/11

28 comments:

  1. This is a beautiful post, Paul. Conor touched so many people and his amazing spirit will never be forgotten. His life is an inspiration.

    All my love and hugs to you both xxx May he rest in peace.

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  2. This is so moving, Paul, it brought tears to my eyes. Conor may have lost his fight for life, but he has won a place in so many hearts, mine included. I will never forget him.
    Much love to you and Jen xx

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  3. Thank you for this beautiful post. My heart aches for you and Jen, for the loss of your sweet son. What a little soldier he is. You were saying from the beginning how strong he was, a fighter, and clearly he fought to stay with you for these few days, so you could have the pictures and the memories of him, until you meet again and hold him in Heaven.

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  4. Paul, I'm thinking of you and Jen a lot at this time, and of the beautiful Conor of course. It's terribly hard to know what to say/write, I just wanted to let you know that you're in my thoughts and Conor's in my heart where he will get an all access pass to every Bon Jovi concert for the rest of my life! It's such a terribly, terribly sad thing to have happened and my heart truly goes out to you both.
    Lena

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  5. Thinking of you both, and Conor, over here, and wishing you all the peace that can be found.

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  6. This hit me really hard, Paul. I don't know what else to say. I wish you all the best.

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  7. I'm sorry to hear of your loss. Your post was beautiful and it brought tears to my eyes. God bless you and your family.

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  8. What all the others said, Paul, and then some. Thank you for allowing us the privilege of knowing your son along with you and Jen.

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  9. Paul, what a brave, moving and heartbreaking post. Thank you for sharing Conor with us - my thoughts are with you and your wife.

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  10. Rachel O'FarrellJuly 16, 2011 at 9:52 PM

    Paul, you and Jen are both so incredibly strong. I am so moved by you both, your post is so touching and you are both an inspiration to us all. I have no doubt that Conor will always be a part of your lives. Lots of love from Rachel & Brian xxx

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  11. Thank you, everyone. Jen and I really appreciate every comment and thought. I know we would never get through this without the support of everyone around us, both in person and across the internet.

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  12. I'm so sorry to hear your news. I'll be at the memorial service on Wednesday, and if there's anything at all I can do, please let me know.

    Love to you both,
    Bría

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  13. Dear Paul,
    I can't see my computer screen through my tears. I am so very sorry for your loss. There are no words, but the words you have written here express so beautifully the spirit of your little boy. Sending you and Jen virtual hugs and strength to get through the next few days and weeks.
    Blessings,
    Karen

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  14. I, too, add my condolences. Some things in this life aren't easy, but it's a comfort to me to know that I will see departed loved ones again. Conor did choose you as his parents, and this tiny little boy IS a part of your eternal family. You will hold him again one day.

    As you've so beautifully expressed it, he brought so much into your lives, tested your strength, and left love in your hearts for him. May God bless and comfort you and your wife in the coming weeks as you move on with your lives. You are both an inspiration to everyone.
    Ann Best, Memoir Author

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  15. Paul, what a beautiful tribute to your beautiful son. Your grace in how you are moving through this experience and in how you are able to express your love for your son and your family are truly inspirational. Conor was blessed to have you and Jen to love him, as you were blessed by the gift of his presence, however brief, and by his love for you, which is eternal. Keeping you in my thoughts. Hold tight to each other.
    Melissa

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  16. Thank you for posting this. It is very brave of you to share your grief with everyone. My thoughts are with you and your wife and will always remember what you shared about your brave boy.

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  17. What a beautiful, strong baby boy. I'm so very sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you and your wife. I'll be playing Bon Jovi tomorrow as a little tribute to Conor and your family.

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  18. I am so sorry. I know he will always be in your hearts and watching over you, just like you said. A spirit like his lives on and on. You are in my thoughts.

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  19. Paul, I am so sorry this happened, but so happy that you and your family got even this brief time with Conor. Bless you all.

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  20. Oh my goodness, I'm so very sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you and your wife.

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  21. Paul, I am so sorry for you and your wife. I am lifting up prayers of comfort and strength for you both.

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  22. Listening to Bon Jovi for your little hero right now. He came into the world and changed us all for good. I know you know this, but he's not gone. He's just found another way to always be with you.
    xxxx

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  23. Words cannot express how sorry I am that you and Jen have suffered such a loss. The picture of Conor is beautiful, and he sounds like a true fighter in every sense. I just know he chose you for parents because you are wonderful, and he couldn't resist being with you here on earth, even if for a short moment of time. Your strength is amazing, and yet I want to tell you that it's okay not to be strong. But you are. And it's both heartbreaking and touching.

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  24. Paul, what a beautiful tribute to your Conor. Though your little boy graced this earth briefly, his perfect love and spirit are eternal. No doubt Conor got his strength and will from you and Jen. Your grace and courage is remarkable and inspiring. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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  25. My sincere condolences. I am touched that you and your wife can find strength together for the future.

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  26. Oh Paul. My sincere condolences to you and your wife. I commend your bravery and openness about your bereavement & know that this same bravery and openness will get you through.

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  27. What love...what sweet sweet love that little boy brought to you. I can feel it in every word you write. I am humbled by your strength and brokenhearted for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family.

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  28. I am so very sorry to hear this. He was indeed beautiful and very loved. I am glad to see that you and your wife have the strength together and that you are able to continue writing it all out. May he live on in your hearts and minds forever.

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